Outside

Go back

I dread going outside, but I had a really good day today.

I don’t go out much, admittedly. Just once or twice a week at most. It’s a mix of objective reasons (most of my life is online/in my room. I study online, work online, have fun online…) and personal reasons (the outside world is terrifying, but that’s only because I don’t know how to live in it).

When I do go out, it’s mostly because my family dragged me into getting groceries, and mostly happens on Sundays.

Sundays are my only true dayoff from both school AND work so… it makes sense. I just can’t help but feel and react like a whiny idiot when needing to go outside interferes with the personal/recreational things I want to get done before Monday.

Today, that was especially true. I fucking dreaded the thought. But it wasn’t that bad after all…

I wore an outfit that made me feel more like myself-- Unbuttoned black shirt, white graphic tee underneath, black cargo pants, my worn Vans, silver jewelry, and a spiked wristband. Pretty simple combo, but I looked at myself in every reflective surface and thought "That's me! ^_^” I loved it.

Went shopping for my younger cousin’s upcoming birthday as well— Got him a pair of new cargo baggy pants, slime (as he requested), and a little taba squishy toy as extra. I got one as well. It’s an Oreo Orb! (..I read the squishy and packaging. It really is called Orb.)

Pic taken after the trip, and after I ripped off the branding and pricetags.

..Honestly, this thing is so ridiculously fun to play with. It’s so entertaining. I can pick at the sequins, squeeze the squishy, and press at the pom-poms. What more can I ask for?

Halloween isn’t exactly celebrated around here, but I saw a lot of people in costumes today. Obviously some classics around, like vampires, grim reapers, and the such, though some I wasn’t able to recognize. I forget how artistic everyone here is. I saw someone walking around with facepaint and the most beautiful handmade black angel wings (made from CARDBOARD!!!). God, I wished that I looked as cool as them.

Ate some good food before getting groceries, too. I wasn’t paying enough attention to remember what were the names of what we ordered, but I remember how great they tasted! (..Expensive as hell, though, good lord.)

After all that, once we got into the supermarket, I had.. a surprisingly okay time? It was weird!!

When we usually go shopping, I am either: A) lightheaded as hell, B) overstimulated as hell, or C) irritated as hell. This time around, I didn’t feel any of that. Maybe a bit wobbly, though I felt fine. Clear mind and all. I mean I’m not complaining.. just.. huh???

I blame the climate for the wobbly thing. Whole-ass grocery store is air-conditioned but the heat STILL creeps in. This fuckass country ISTG..

I had such a good day. It’s insane. I didn’t get anything major done (I still have 16 assignments/projects left and 17 days to complete them all HELP ME) but that didn’t change a thing in how I feel. I really needed this, apparently.

Only thing I have to complain about is: I wasn't able to get my haircut today, something I’ve been looking forward to. (I NEED to know what it’s like to have bangs. The emo poser in me demands it.) That sucks.

It still pales in comparison to the joy I experienced, though. Yay!!!