Raised by the Internet

Written on 2/17/2025

Originally made for Muse Ariadne.

Prompt: write something that pulls from both a childhood memory (or something nostalgic to childhood) and a recent memory! explore how the two connect and differ

I don’t know who I’d be without the internet, honestly.

I got my first laptop when I was five years old-- A bulky Dell laptop, with a shiny maroon chassis.

I think the tablets and iPads I had beforehand helped me grow into it.

Looking back, I don’t really know why I was allowed to have my own devices. It led to a lot of in-app purchases made without permission and far too many things I wasn’t supposed to see, but I guess it kept me busy enough to ease my busy parents’ minds.

I got introduced to speedpaints and comic dubs through that old thing; Powerpuff Girls speedpaints and Undertale AUs being my first exposures to digital art and fandom culture. I had loved it, and a part of me— the part that’s the very embodiment of cringe culture —still does. I remember watching white cursors sketch in MSPaint to Toxic by Britney Spears and watching Underswap comic dubs for hours very fondly. It was my gateway into making my very own masterpieces on ibisPaint X and rereading the webcomics I’ve come to love.

My personality was really influenced by those small corners of the internet. I laugh at the stupidest, most random things, and I still have that same fondness for puns; I avoid arguments like the plague, and I live by the same principles of don’t like, don’t read; I try to be helpful when I can, answering questions much like those who helped me when I was new in games. Like I said, I don’t know who I’d be without the internet.

It’s hard for me to talk about nostalgia, partly because of this. I can’t exactly miss something that I already have. I can’t miss the internet, because I’m still on it and it’s still thriving. Things haven’t changed, they’ve just evolved; I can’t miss speedpaints and comic dubs, because I've started to create speedpaints and to read comics. The things I loved watching from afar back then are the hobbies I have now.

Sometimes, I can’t help but think that I was born on and raised by these virtual spaces, by the plastic and aluminum now underneath my fingers.

Sometimes, I look into the mirror and I see that same old laptop look back at me.

Sometimes, I think that’s really concerning.